Poor neglected baby

Sweet Smile

Violette, we took you up to Snowbird today at the end of the day to watch the kids ski and to go hot tubbing in the awesome outdoor hot tubs and you were miserable.  By the end of the day your little eyes were red and your little voice was hoarse.  It's probably hard to be the fourth child and be neglected, and less considered.  I'm sorry that we drag you around, even when you're sick and tired and that you don't have a perfect schedule for your naps.  I'm sorry that Bea hugs you too hard and sticks her feet in your face many times a day.  I'm sorry that when you cry, I usually can't come to your aid right away.  I wish I could just hold you and be sensitive to all of your needs.  Just know that I have a special place for you in my heart and that I love you Vivi Lu. 

For the Record

Look at her double chin emerging and those rosy cheeks.  No more starving baby here!

So just for the record I have to document Violette's first few months of life since we basically have no photos because our camera broke and because it was the holidays and it got hectic around here.  Also I have to document that I have been trying to breastfeed her and no matter how much I feed her, she doesn't seem to be getting enough milk, possibly because she sleeps so much at night and even if I feed her every two hours during the 12 hours she's awake, my milk supply seems to be confused.  When I stopped pumping exclusively at around 7 weeks and just try to start breastfeeding I got thrush again for like the umteenth time and had to get on serious medication.  Thankfully it went away, but during that time I was in such pain that I would just put off nursing for one more hour here and there until I was only nursing like 4 times in a 24 hour period and Violette had so little energy that she wouldn't even cry, but just slept all day long.  She went 12 hours one day without even waking up and that's when it hit me, plus that same day I looked at her and she seemed to have that "starving child" look:Hunger in her eyes and cheekbones poking out.  I took her to her appointment and she had indeed lost over one pound.  I felt horrible and cried in agony at my neglectful behavior.  How could I have not known? I guess it's because she never cried that I thought she was fine.  Thankfully, our pediatrician immediately had us pump her full of extra milk and formula, which I did, and now she's three months old, doing great, gaining weight and smiling all day long.  She still sleeps about 7 or 8 hours straight from when I put her to bed until I wake up in the morning, which is a huge blessing for me, then I nurse her and she sleeps until about noon if I want her to.  If not, I get her up and she's awake for a couple hours before needing to take a really long nap.  All in all, she probably sleeps around 18 hours per day still if I let her.  The least amount she will sleep is about 14, but then she's usually really cranky and wants to be put to bed.  All I have to do is swaddle her, nurse her or put her binkie in and lay a soft blankie over her eyes and she'll fall right to sleep.  She really is a sweet and easy baby.  I even love hearing her little cry because it's so soft and unoffensive.  I just wanted to admit to your history that you had a continuation of a rough start and that I'm sorry little one.  I felt horrible but now you're my 1st priority right now.  I just love you so much!

What's in a name?

Violette's blessing dress made by my mom

So, "Violette?", you ask yourself? "What was Amelia thinking?" you say to your spouse? Well, I'll tell you.  Justin has two grandmothers, one named Viola(Vai-O-la) and another named Violet.  I always had Violet on my baby name list and it seemed to be at the top, but something just wasn't right. I didn't like any of my other names as much, but I didn't love just plain ol' Violet so I looked up the variations and when I read Violette, it just stuck and it was the one.  I briefly considered Violetta, the Italian version, but for some reason I don't like names ending in an -uh sound because it makes our names sound like full sentences like Bea's middle name, Isabella which is gaggingly overused.  I could make a sentence out of it.  "Isabella Hohl" changes to, "Is a bell a whole?" There are so many names that we couldn't use because they either created bad concepts or other full sentences like my personal favorite, Phillipa, which is a name I would have  totally used.  I LOVE that name, but put it all together and it says, "fill up a hole".  There is no way.  A, P, and I names are out of the picture and then I have to be careful of names ending in -es -is or -as for obvious reasons.  Since I like unusual names, you'd be surprised at how many names I couldn't use that I would have considered. 

Violette starting to smile.  She looks just like Henry to us!

I like my concept names like Jackson Hole, Whole Clementine, Be Whole and now Vivi Whole which also means "Live Whole" in Italian.  I'm trying to embrace our last name and turn it into something interesting instead of naming my kids really boring, normal names to downplay it.  All our kids have ties to ancestors, but have an international twist.  Even Clementine is French.  Henry doesn't respond to his name anymore, so I call him Enrico most of the time.  So there you have it, we have two Italian and two French babies.  Would you expect anything less from me?